How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
