I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
