as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
