I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
