Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
