I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
