As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had to cum in my sink.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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