So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
