either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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