And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
