we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
