I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
