Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
