Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
