This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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