I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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