you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
