do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
