Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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