I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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