i barfeds in our rink
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
