All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
me + whiskey = a bad person
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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