mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize