I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I AM VODKA MAN
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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