Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Farmville is her only friend.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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