in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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