This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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