You're completely useless in the revolution.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
