Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
