I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
