I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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