dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
As shirtless as possible
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
