I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
