somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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