can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
