Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I did not marry a roomba.
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