Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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