Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
