pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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