I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
