I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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