i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
