Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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