I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
