Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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