can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
