y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
