Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize