We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
