it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
