My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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