He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and she was petting her beer can
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
