I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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