no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
