We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
