And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
