Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
