doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize