seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
