M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
