just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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