He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
