We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
