their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
