did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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