Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
